JFS Family Matters
Can Mother Live Alone?
Dear JFS,
My mother lives alone in her own home here in Nashville. She is getting more forgetful and not eating on a regular basis. I worry about her constantly. Is she taking her medications? Does she turn off the stove? What do I do now?
Concerned Daughter
Dear Concerned,
It does sound like there may be a problem. Without more in depth information it is hard to know exactly what she may need but there are many resources available to help. First, has your mother had a recent medical check up? You may want to attend the next visit and share your concerns. Talk to the doctor directly if you can. The doctor can review medications and rule out other medical problems that may be troubling your mother.
JFS or other community agencies can go into your mother’s home and perform an assessment. This assessment can help determine if there are cognitive issues, safety issues, or other concerns within the home. Often, our clients have shared concerns with their social worker that they have been reluctant to share with their children.
The results of this assessment are used to develop a plan that will best serve your mother. Our goal is to promote independent living as long as it is safely possible. There are a variety of resources that are available to help. Each plan is different and based upon the unique needs of the individual.
Some of the resources that we have found to be helpful include: Meals on Wheels, transportation assistance such as Buz-A-Bus or Metro Access Ride, emergency response devices, medication monitoring, and an increase in socialization activities. Some elderly people become socially isolated, and that can contribute to forgetfulness or depression. Activities such as the GJCC Golden Age Club, or visits from a JFS Helping Hands volunteer, or even getting together with friends for cards or a meal regularly can make a great difference.
Homemaker services and homecare are also helpful to many. These services are often paid for by the individual, family or possibly by insurance. Publicly funded services are available for those with lower incomes; however, there may be a waiting list before you can get started.
Other times, more intensive services such as in-home counseling, the addition of an in-home caregiver, or even a move to assisted living are necessary. But please don’t jump to conclusions. Often, an excellent assessment and careful planning can extend the time that one’s parent can continue to live safely at home.
If you are caring for an elderly parent, it is also important that you care for yourself. Remember to get enough rest, eat well, set appropriate limits and ask for help when needed. JFS offers a Caregiver Support Group in which members share information and provide support.
We can tell that you really care about your mother as you are taking the time to learn about what is available to help her. Give us a call if you want to talk about this further.
Sincerely,
The staff of JFS
Jewish Family Service provides counseling and social services in a confidential environment. Call 356-4234 for more information, or write to us at JFS Family Matters, 801 Percy Warner Blvd., Nashville, TN 37205 or info@jfsnashville.org to submit a question for this column.