JFS Family Matters
Fed Up in Brentwood
Dear JFS,
I hate my job! I go to work every day and I really need the money. I have been working for the same company for 12 years and I make a good salary. But the boss never seems happy with my work. He piles up more and more on me while other people seem to have time to take long lunches and hang out at the water cooler. It is so unfair! Should I leave? If I do, I know I will have to take a big pay cut. What can I do?
Fed Up in Brentwood
Dear Fed Up,
Work is such a big part of our life that it can be a real drag when things aren’t going well. The luckiest people love their job and would be happy doing the same thing, even if they weren’t getting paid. Others work to pay the bills and search for other ways to feel as if they are making a contribution, socialize, or achieve a sense of accomplishment.
What is important for you at work? Do you have the opportunity to fulfill the needs that are important to you? If so, keep that in mind and it will become easier to put up with some of the less than ideal aspects of work, after all no job is perfect.
I hope that you are not planning on staying with a job that you truly hate. That would not be fair to you or your employer. However, if the job is a mix of positives and negatives, which most are, perhaps you can take some steps to change things. First, examine your thinking. Are you focusing exclusively on the things that you don’t like and discounting the positives. You stated that the boss never seems happy with your work. Unfortunately, some bosses, just like parents, focus easily on what needs improvement while failing to notice any positive accomplishments, taking them for granted. Remember to pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
If you think that the boss is treating you unfairly, that can make the task of enjoying your job much more challenging. Certainly, it can be difficult to talk to a boss about their behavior as there is the potential for them to react harshly to challenges and concerns. If your boss is open to discussion about the workload in the office, schedule a meeting with them – one on one. Be honest and express yourself in a calm manner. Keep the focus of the meeting on job performance and expectations. If you learn that you are given extra work because you can be can relied upon to get it done, perhaps extra compensation is in order.
If you have done all that you can do to rectify the situation with your boss and nothing has changed, consider your options. Make a conscious choice to accept your boss exactly as he is and view this solely as a job and not the only thing in life that matters, or update that resume and move on. We spend too much of our time at work to dread out time there. May the work force be with you.
Sincerely,
The staff of JFS
Jewish Family Service provides counseling and social services in a confidential environment. Call 356-4234 for more information, or write to us at JFS Family Matters, 801 Percy Warner Blvd., Nashville, TN 37205 or info@jfsnashville.org to submit a question for this column.