Dear Esther is a monthly advice column published in The Jewish Observer.
For the past two years my spouse has been struggling with an addiction. I am happy that my spouse is in recovery but I am having a difficult time. I feel angry and resentful about the chaos he has brought into our lives. His addiction has hurt everyone in the family and it hasn’t stopped because he is in recovery. It is going to take years to fully recover financially and emotionally. The issue I am currently having is a lack of sympathy which interferes with my ability to be fully supportive of him. When I try to be there for him, my mind keeps saying “you did this to us.” I feel awful about not being able to feel more sympathy. Am I a bad person for feeling this way? Will I ever get past feeling angry and resentful?
-Tired Devoted Wife